Yeah, Everyone Has a Brother like That

Everyone knows Jebus
The guy who healed the lame.
Well, I am Jebus's brother.
Craig is my name.

Jebus is the prince of peace.
Jebus is the lamb.
Jebus is the son of god.
But Craig don't give a damn.

Because when Craig's inside, we'll party all damn night.
I don't turn water into wine, but into cold Coors Light.
I'm not my brother, I know. Don't walk on H₂O.
But I've got hydroponic shit that me and Judas grow.

I'm fucking Craig! I'm fucking Craig! I'm fucking Craig! Craig Christ.

I hang out with lepers, Barrabus, and Sodomé.
Jebus's friends are called apostles.
Those dudes are totally gay.

Jebus performs miracles from Galilee to Rome.
But it would be a miracle if he brought a fucking lady home.

Because when Jebus is praying, fucking Craig is laying
Every lady in the testament, you know what I'm saying.
I won't die for your sins, like my famous kin.
But if you've got a little sister, then there's room at this Inn. …

And now the question for you is not What Would Jebus Do?
But where will you be when the Craig Machine comes partying through?
And if the lord will allow,
You've got to ask yourself How?
And Who? and Why? and When? and Where is my messiah now?

It's fucking Craig!

I was just thinking, since I'm going to hell, why wait in line? *bump*