Well Played, Lodja. Well Played.

Imagine a relative who thinks sex is like a handshake. (“You mean Uncle Walter?”) Who organises orgies with the neighbours, doesn’t mind if their partner sleeps around, and firmly believes females should be in charge of everything. (“That would be my Aunt Bernice.”) Imagine there was a whole tribe of these relatives—crazy yes? But definitely a lot of fun. (“Family reunions are the second weekend in August every odd year, if you're interested.”)

Lodja is adorable but sometimes she bites. I'm trying to take her ear temperature to see how scared she is of strangers. She doesn’t look really scared. We play the call of a bonobo in Leipzig and see if her right ear goes up. If it does, it means she's scared because the right side of your brain gets hotter when you have a negative emotional response. We're predicting that bonobos won’t be scared of strangers because when they see a stranger they run up and have sex with them for 30 mins. …

So far, our results are a mess. They don’t make any sense. Which means that we are either on to something really big, or the experiment is a train wreck.

It could be a little of both, but I'm thinking Dr. Wood's hotness is throwing off the results. I mean, I don't know her, but if she asked to take my temperature, I think I might run up and try to have sex with her—and that's not normal behavior for me.

Why? What have you heard?