“What? Again? Baby, Please. I'm Not from Havanna.”

Ah, yeah… That's right, baby.

Girl, tonight, we're going to make love. You know how I know, baby? 'Cause it's Wednesday, and Wednesday night is the night that we make love. Tuesday night is the night that we go and visit your mother, but Wednesday night is the night that we make love, 'cause everything is just right. Conditions are perfect.

You lean in close and say something sexy, like “I might go to bed. I've got work in the morning.” I know what you're trying to say, baby. You're trying to say, “Ooh, yeah, it's business time. It's business time.” …

That's what you're trying to say. You're trying to say, “Let's get down to business. It's business time.”

Ooh. Next thing you know we're in the bathroom, brushing our teeth. That's all part of it. That's foreplay. Then, you go sort out the recycling. (That's not part of it, but it's still very important.)

Then, we're in the bedroom. You're wearing that ugly, old, baggy t-shirt from that team-building exercise you did for your old work. And it's never looked better on you. Ohhhh, team-building exercise—not tonight! (Oh, you don't know what you're doing to me.) I remove my jeans, but trip over them because I've still got my shoes on. But then, I turn it into a sexy dance. …

Ooh, making love, making love for two, making love for two minutes. When it's with me, you only need two minutes, 'cause I'm so intense. …

You say something like, “Is that it?” I know what you're trying to say. You're trying to say, “Ahh, yeah, that's it.”

Then you tell me you want some more. Well, I'm not surprised.

But I'm quite sleepy.


Finally, there's a replacement for Barry White. Pop in the Flight of the Conchords CD, and let the seduction begin.