Remember: You Can't Spell Valentine's Day without VD

“Oh, hello. I'm Lisa Nova, and thanks for joining me. Did you know there is a right way to celebrate Valentine's Day and a wrong way. Today, we're going to go over the wrong way, so that you do it right. Because you don't want to be the douche bag that screws up your girl's Valentine's Day, do you? … ”


No, I don't.

But if I may offer a tip to the ladies, let me offer this: “Ladies, don't date douche bags. You can't change them. They'll always be douche bags. Expecting them to act like the man of your dreams, when they're, clearly, not is just crazy. Drop them. Move on.”

To survive until the real man comes along, get a dog and a really, really, really satisfying vibrator. Trust me: You'll be much, much happier.