If Those Were My Children (and That Were My Wife), I'd Go for the Vesectomy, but Only because Those Safety Scissors Wouldn't Cut My Jugular

For guys who park in front of the TV during college basketball's March Madness, the Oregon Urology Institute has a suggestion: Why not use that time to recover from a vasectomy?

“When March Madness approaches you need an excuse … to stay at home in front of the big screen,” the clinic's radio ad says. “Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts. It's snip city.”

Or you can just call in sick with a recurring case of hoopsfluenza, like the rest of us.

But then, if you're susceptible to this type of marketing, you probably should be fixed. (Actually, you should be put down, but I'll settle for fixed.)