*Actually, I Don't Speak German

I would totally ride that—except one of the requirements seems to be that guys wear man-kinis. And that's not how I roll.

By the way, if you don't speak German and you are dying for a translation, here you go:

“Oh, yeah, this slip-and-slide is a real kick in the pants and a marvel of engineering, but, dudes, seriously, it's been over sixty years since we invaded France. Come on. Who's with me?”*