Annie, Call Me—if You Need a Pairs of Eggs in Pizza Dough or, You Know, Just to Chat

<a href="http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/filthy_food/" target="_blank">Filthy Food</a>

Filthy Food

Here, in the Pacific Northwest, we are known for our bestiality. “That's all well and good for you, Biff,” you say. “You live in a state where that sort of thing is practiced and respected. What about those of us who live in less enlightened locales?” Well, I hear you, rhetorical tool, and I'm here to help.

After watching this video, I think you'll see that horses and pit bulls are not necessary for a sexy good time. All that is really needed is a well-stocked pantry.

And a hungry, eager tongue. Oh, I'm sorry. It appears I'm still in thrall to Annie Terrazzo's glistening, food pleaser. It's hard not to be. I mean, I know the food is the star of the video, but her tongue steals every scene it's in—even the one with the cookie dough—and, trust me, it's hard to steal a scene from cookie dough.