Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Click the Link to Read One of the Best Headlines Ever


Accused of repeatedly exposing himself at a SeaTac bar, a 41-year-old man has been charged with indecent exposure with sexual motivation.

On Jan. 3, King County prosecutors claim in charging documents, Basim Salim Abdul-Rahim was seated in the bar of the 13 Coins restaurant when a bartender there noticed he was staring at her. The woman became concerned when she realized Abdul-Rahim was fondling himself.

Abdul-Rahim fled before police arrived, a King County detective said in court documents, leaving behind a container of Vaseline.

Two days later he allegedly returned to the restaurant, prompting the bartender to call the police to report that a man who'd repeatedly exposed himself was siting at the bar, according to court documents. Deputies arrested Abdul-Rahim, finding his hands coated with petroleum jelly.

Confronted by police, Abdul-Rahim allegedly admitted to frequenting the bar but denied following the bartender, according to prosecutors' statements.

Questioned about his Vaseline-covered hands, he said he'd been having phone sex with his wife, prosecutors alleged.

Because that's not a problem at all, having phone sex in a bar. At least not in Seattle. That's a Sunday.

But, of course, he was lying, if his wife is to be believed, and when it's the wife's word against the husband's whose hands are covered in Vaseline, you kind of go with the wife.

So, in addition to his already substantial list of woes, he has Explain Why I Told Police I Was Having Phone Sex with My Wife in the 13 Coins Bar Area when I Clearly Wasn't on the Phone with My Wife. “Oh, that wasn't you? My bad, honey, I could've sworn… Well, I'm just as baffled as you are. I don't know whose voice and comments I was lubing the axle to. But isn't that's soooo like me,” I imagine him saying.

Shortly, afterwards, I imagine there to be cops and EMTs involved.

3 Comments:

Blogger LeeSee said...

One of my friends gave her boyfriend a blowjob right in the bar during lunch.
Oddly none of us really cared,we must have been completely wasted.

10:58 PM  
Blogger Bryan Gates said...

Rule 214 of the criminal defense attorney code: When caught in a bar with Vaseline covered hands, do not, repeat, DO NOT, attempt any sort of explanation.

8:17 AM  
Blogger Biff Loman said...

Well, LeeSee, a blowjob is an entirely different thing. If I see someone getting a blowjob in a bar, I simply tip my hat to the couple—hell, I might even curtsey—and go my own way, hoping I can be so fortunate soon.

But if I see someone “punchin' his midget” in public, I go “law and order” his ass.

If it's a woman, though, I'm back to curtseying. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, “double standard,” blah, blah, blah. Deal with it.)

I don't know where I stand on blow jobs and Vaseline. If there's going to be probing… It's not that I don't support blowjobs with prostate massages; it's that I don't know how I feel about seeing that in public.

But I'm probably agin' it. No one should be having that much fun in plain view.

3:15 PM  

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