Monday, January 11, 2010

The Thin Blue Line Separating You from Your Drink Order


Police officers in Everett, Washington decided that the best way to spend their time—and spend taxpayers' dough—was cracking down on the perverted, nasty, please-don't-make-them-see-it phenomenon of mostly naked women serving drive-through coffee. It was a tough assignment, but they prevailed. To prove that the women at Grab-n-Go Espresso were straddling the sill of the to-go window while wearing panties without crotches, licking whipped cream off of one another, and otherwise exposing their nether-parts to men, officers—naturally—had to take pictures. Officials have charged the women, who are scheduled for a hearing January 11, with prostitution.

Reluctantly, officers released those photos yesterday, pursuant to a public records request by the Everett Herald, but the staff at the Everett Herald had the good taste not to run those pictures. Fortunately, we don't have that good taste here at The Stranger.


I bet you feel guilty asking your barista for an extra shot of mocha syrup.

Here in the Pacific Northwest, bankrupting Starbucks one drip at a time is the least of our coffee-drinking concerns. We're more concerned about health code violations.

That said, the smegma lattes are not to be missed.

2 Comments:

Blogger Bryan Gates said...

That explains the merkin in my mocha.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Biff Loman said...

Well, to paraphrase a great man, “If you're going to make a mocha, you're going to have to break a few eggs, or, at least, be prepared to have one roll down your barista's devil chute and into your demitasse.”

All I can add to that is “Amen, comrade. Amen.”

5:57 PM  

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