Yeah, That's Why I Never Got into Lost

Why isn't there more fucking on this island?
Don't they know that they could have all this?
I should plow that ass before I smother them with gas.
I'm evil, but I still have needs.

Amen, brother.

I was taught that Christianity was founded around the first question asked of god in the bible: “Am I my brother's keeper?” and that its teachings go on to the answer the question. (It's “Yes.” Yes, you are.) I can see why that is so appealing for so many people.

But for me, any religion that hopes to win my soul has to have a more sensual question at it's center. Now, I'm not saying “Why isn't there more fucking around here?” is right for everyone, but if a community of like-minded others wanted to get together and explore the rapturous nature of that mystery every Sunday morning, using a book that answers the questions for us with stories and parables and testimonies and pop-up cutouts, I would be interested to know where they would be meeting. (And I'd be willing to bring the holy lube.)