"Lawyer, Huh? I Bet You Saw Some Action"

A man accused of urinating in an airplane aisle and lighting a cigarette during a flight to Dulles International Airport told a judge that he's due to check into rehab.

Forty-one-year-old Mark McGovern told a federal magistrate judge in Charlotte, North Carolina yesterday that he's an unemployed lawyer and is supposed to check into an alcohol treatment program at a veterans hospital in Tampa, Florida on Friday.

Ohhhhhhh. See, I didn't know he was a veteran when I made my snide and violence-encouraging remarks earlier. Had I known he was an American hero, I ....

No, I still would've wished someone would've given him a beat-down - except I'd have wanted them to thank him for his service afterwards. (And, maybe, buy him a drink.)