"How To Masturbate in Your Grandmother's House"

You're visiting nana for a whole week. Day one, you spend afternoon looking through scrapbooks and sipping tea. Day two, you go antiquing while she tells you about the summer camp she went to as a little girl. Day three, you go through some items inthe attic, marveling at how your grandfather's old sweaters fit you perfectly. By day four, you need to masturbate.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!