Howard Spent Investigates The Semiotics of Smoking

For any enlightened, right-minded gent with an ounce of 'common' in his noodle there can be only one reliable way to judge one's fellow man and that is by the semiotics of smoking. A chap with cigarette, cigar or pipe in hand, when keenly observed, will within a matter of minutes unwittingly divulge not only his social status and current state of mind but also vital information about temperament, reliability, employability, marital status, sexual proclivities and prowess, family background and literary tastes. Non-smokers who hold no truck with the tobaccotine arts have already revealed themselves to be beneath contempt and are therefore worthy of no serious consideration.

I am the EXTROVERT, and it's true I "should never be entrusted with any position of authority."