I Shall Wash, but I Shall Not Be Clean

Ain't It Cool News has come across perhaps the greatest promotion in the history of soon-to-be-doomed movies. Visitors to the website of New Line's Running Scared can take part in a highly immersive interactive experience (you must be 17 years old to play--wink wink, horny fifth graders!), becoming a virtual, cunnilingus-craving version of Paul Walker:

That's right, for their online game... You get to play PAUL WALKER going down on his wife... and the object is to eat her to orgasm! Make her arch her back and beg you to stop. WHAT THE FUCK? I'm serious. They really made a game over there that requires you to hit your arrow keys to emulate eating pussy. . . .Now, I have to say... Paul Walker's wife is the easiest woman in the world to get off... because for one... there's a fucking yellow arrow guide to how to get her off...

After 15 minutes or so, she looked down, tapped my virutal Paul Walker on the shoulder, and said, "I don't think it's going to happen." Virtual Paul got up, went into the bathroom, closed the door behind him, and buried his head into a folded towel, to muffle the sound of his wee sobbing. I felt his virtual shame, shared his virtual inadequacy. If her virtual girlfriends laugh for no apparent reason when virtual Paul Walker walks by, it will be just like real cunnilingus.