The Famous Pop-N-Fresh Giggle Could Be Heard over the Chorus of "Pour Some Sugar on Me"

A 4-foot tall Pillsbury Doughboy, which watched over a New Hampshire supermarket for 20 years, has been kidnapped. His captors have been chronicling his plight in a series of ransom notes and photos.

Employees considered him their store mascot. but, the store … is now closing, and the Doughboy's captor claims to be a loyal customer trying to stop the shutdown.

… He disappeared on April 15. Immediately, the pictures started coming in the mail, complete with notes detailing Doughboy's daily doings.

In the first note, the captors wrote, “If you close the store, the Pillsbury Dough Boy will be baked.” The accompanying picture showed the mascot wearing a blindfold.

Since then the photos have arrived every couple of days. Later images showed him at a Dairy Queen, at a local fire station, a hamburger stand and a local strip club.

At the strip club, the Doughboy appeared to be arguing with a manager in its Champagne Room, making the case—if his gestures are to be believed—that since he was without genitals, his lap dances should be half-off (or free, depending on how you view the picture). Said a supermarket employee, “That's our Doughboy. God, I miss him.”