"God Hates FAQs" Even the Very, Very Funny Ones

The time of the rapture is at hand. The signs described in the Bible that foreshadow the return of Jesus Christ are becoming all too clear. Not all who live during coming Great Tribulation will be spirited away to be with God. The Bible tells us that only those who repent of their sins and follow the teachings of Jesus Christ may enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Do you know someone who is in danger of being “left behind” because of a sinful life? Imagine if you could write a letter to a friend or loved one after the Great Day of Reckoning. Maybe a message to your family telling them to trust in God, and that everything will be okay. Perhaps you would leave instructions to care for your pets after your departure. It could be that your message is the light that opens a sinner's eyes to the Glory of God and allows them entrance to Heaven during the trials before the Second Coming. This is where the Post-Rapture Post comes in.

Just write your letter and it will be hand-delivered immediately following the exodus of the pure from the Earth. But you must be thinking to yourself, “How can the letters be delivered after the Rapture?” The answer is simple. The creators of this site are Atheists.

As you know, I have plans to defile churches and daughters. Actually, I have plans to defile churches with daughters (I'm looking at you, Jenna and Barbara) when the Rapture comes. And I expect to be very busy.

But in my down time—everyone needs rest (if you haven't got your health. . . )—I hope these guys will let me deliver the mail.