Jessa's on Vacation, but as You Can See, Bookslut the Blog Is Doing Very Well in Her Absence

Dear Jesus,

. . . I know I'm supposed to go to Santa for this--it seems ridiculously unfair to ask you for a present on your birthday--but I have a request. (Ask and ye shall receive, of course, and I will say this policy has never let me down):

Do you think you could arrange the heads up for converted Catholic, viciously anti-choice Dawn Eden, author of this new memoir The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On, about how the Catholic doctrine on women, sex, birth control, and your own celibacy were manufactured for extremely crass and usually violent political and economic reasons long after your death and have nothing to do with spirituality, love, self-worth, or belief?

Despite her reactionary politics, I think it's possible that Eden truly understands that you live in everybody's heart. So I ask with my own heart open:

Could you explain it to her that--whether she's married or not--you also live in her pussy?

xoxo
Love, Elizabeth

Since I didn't get the car I asked for (and now desperately need, thank you) -- or did you park it behind my building? -- could you just convert my prayer over to hers. I know you were probably too busy getting LMAO Elmos for orphans to worry about my needs. I understand that. As I am quite fortunate as things go, it's only fair that my selfish desires come second, behind the needs of those that Fortune has shunned. Good on you: I applaud your adherence to principle. But now, I'm asking for someone else.

See what you can do.

By the way, about the car, I've got a birthday coming up.