Of Course, Most of the Misfortune Was Actually Me Pinching Them, but My Point Still Stands

Here's the funny thing about parenthood. On the one hand, having a child makes you inexplicably start loving all children. . . .

On the other hand, parenthood tends to make you revel in the small injuries and indignities to which children are subjected (or inadvertently subject themselves). Before, upon observing an inattentive child walk headlong into a fence post, I would gasp in alarm and rush to his aid; now I'll roar with laughter and take a mental snapshot of the scene, something to chuckle over for months to come. It's a little bit of rebellion against our masters.

So if there are any childless women reading, bookmark this entry. The next time your period is a few weeks later, you may want to come back and take a gander at the photo above; if you snicker, it's time to start shopping for bassinets.

I've been laughing at the misfortune of children for years. Who knew it was just my paternal streak yearning to breathe free.