If Heaven Doesn't Have Molly Ivins, I Don't Want to Go (Actually, I Have a Long List of Prerequisites, but That One's the Real Deal Breaker)

I want to say two things in a sort of commencement address mode. One is, to the student - raise hell. And the other is - and I am serious as a stroke about this - you have to work at this throughout your career. Have fun. The reason that's real important is something that was mentioned earlier - the burn-out factor - getting worn out.

Now, there's some people who have a genius for anger - Bob Sherrill, and a few others. Ronnie Dugger is another journalist I know, who becomes outraged at injustice, every time he sees it, just as though injustice had never before occurred in the history of the world. But, most of us don't have that happy thing, and further more, if we stay angry all the time, we get bitter and tired and cynical and burned out and utterly useless. And what you have to do is have fun while you're trying to do good. . . .

I am a great believer in making politics fun and encouraging those who do so. There was a splendid example of this a few years ago in Austin. The state legislature took a fit of communism and declared Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday a state holiday. Now, don't worry, it was a package deal, we kept Confederate Heroes Day. It was ... honoring Dr. King, and as you can imagine, it upset the Ku Klux Klan and ... asked them to come to Austin to have a protest and rally and, many of you from more civilized parts would not know this, but it's a pain in the ass when the cluckers come to town.

It upsets the black citizens, it upsets the Jewish citizens. The skinhead kids turn out and cheer them on from the sidewalk, and everybody gets mad at everybody for a good six months. . . .

So, a group of us civil libertarians gathered mournfully over a pitcher of beer down at the Zona Rosa Bar one afternoon discussing the clucker factor and came up with what we thought was a better plan. We don't have enough cluckers right there in Austin to have a good march. They had to be bussed in from Waco and Vider.

They got off the buses, wearing their little pointy hats on their little pointy heads and commenced to march up Congress Avenue. They were greeted by several thousand citizens of Austin ... on both sides of the street who mooned them as they marched. It made a real nice effect - it was kind of like a wave in a baseball stadium.

Now, that's my kind of protest.

In case you haven't heard, Molly Ivins died Tuesday. I can't say this about many people, but I can say it of her: We are the lesser for her passing.

Wherever her soul resides (I'm willing to suspend my disbelief in an afterlife for her sake), I hope they've got bourbon there.

*thanks to Pacific Views for directing me to the quoted Columbia School of Journalism commencement address.