Bring Out the Hellman's, and Bring Out the Best

Well, a foley artist is somebody who creates sound for motion pictures. You might not know this, but every movie you go and see, every sound is made in a studio like this: screeching tires, somebody slamming a door, or, in my case, balls smacking against a chick's ass.

And just so you know, if you need to make the sound of intercourse, all you need is some Miracle Whip and a pickle. And here's a tip for you Star Wars fetishists out there, you know, those of you into Wookie Skat, . . . No, you're just going to have to watch.