Mark Your Calendar. Don't Be a Loman.
April 14 is Cake and Cunnilingus Day!
Why? Well, as some enterprising men have declared March 14 to be "Steak and Blowjob Day", we women thought we'd get in on the act as well, a month later.
Cake and Cunnilingus Day is about celebrating female pleasure. It's about putting our orgasms on the agenda and demanding pleasure equality! It's about lying back and gorging on chocolate mud cake while our lover sticks his eager tongue into our pussy!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up a minute. Go back to the part about steak and blowjobs, because I'm pretty sure I missed out on that.
I was probably working or something equally less fulfilling. I know this is a long shot, but did anyone get a go-plate for me and forget to pass it along? I promise if you come through with the rib-eye and fellatio, I won't be mad at you for holding out on it for almost a month.
posted by Biff Loman at 7:31 PM
2 Comments:
Every day should be Cake and Cunnilingus Day!
Truer words were never spoken.
Cake and cunnilingus: to paraphrase from the lyrics of the only movie to ever make me cheer for the Nazis,
When the steak's gone
With the blow jobs
And I'm feeling sad,
I think of these two of my favorite things,
and then I don't feel soooo bad.
I find it hard to believe that I live in a world where every day isn't Cake and Cunnilingus Day. How is that possible? What in the hell is our country getting fat on, anyway?
Well, this cannot stand. I'm preheating the oven to 350. "Women of the Northwest, I'm making a chocolate torte. Don't make me bake for nothing."
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