Moving to a New Home and Experiencing All the Wonders that Provides. I Will Return to Regular Blogging Soon
Apparently, there's a right way and a wrong way to enjoy coitus with your IKEA Sex Console. The right way, if the naughty grin on Cartoon Sven's face is to be believed, provides you with endless amounts of pleasure. The wrong way provides you with endless appointments with vascular surgeons, urologists, and emergent care professionals.
I am not a happy Sven.
By the way, I've never bragged about my carpentry skills on this blog. Let me remedy that error in humility by saying if we were trapped on a deserted island or crashed in the Andes and we were dependent upon only my carpentry skills for lifesaving shelter, we would all die of exposure long before we had to resort to cannibalism to survive.
Make your travel plans accordingly.
posted by Biff Loman at 1:53 PM
2 Comments:
No worries. After doing time in Montana, battling children, animals of every variety including a grizzly bear and an obnoxious mule, completely unmotivated students in a high school on a reservation and incredibly harsh winters where I managed to keep us from freezing to death, I've got your back on the carpentry skills. Yes, I built a wine glass rack.
*proud look*
*Looks lovingly in your direction and melts—but in a manly, testosterone-d–and–ballsy way*
A wine rack, you say? Hmm, I've got wine.
What goes with totally hot carpentry skills? Red or White?
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