Actually, I'll Put Out for a Happy Meal and a Pack of Nabs, but Shhhhhh! Let's Keep That Between Us

Chris Rock's coming to Seattle, and so far, I've had no luck getting tickets, so like everyone else, I have to settle for watching his videos on YouTube.

Hopefully, TickerMaster will let me in soon because entering the validation code only to find out their servers are maxed out at the moment blows—especially when all my “friends” are calling and telling me how quickly and easily they were able to get through.

Or better still, one of you bastards could call and invite me to go with you. (I'm looking at you, Kristin.) If it makes calling easier, I'll tell you up front, for Chris Rock tickets, I will put out.