You Go, Homegirl!

Matt Lauer: I'm sure you've seen that Hillary Clinton ad by now about an emergency call at 3:00 a.m. It features a series of sleeping children and asks who would you want answering the phone in the White House if there were trouble around the world.

Well, one little girl in the ad was eight when the video was shot for a different commercial. She's almost eighteen now, and she's here to tell us who she really would want answering that call.

Casey Knowles, good morning, nice to see you. … First of all, you did some acting, I guess, as a young kid. Is that how the footage got shot in the first place?

Casey Knowles: Right. Yeah. When I was younger, my parents got us involved in doing little acting jobs, just locally, like a little, tiny commercial here, a little, erotic movie there. I was young, impressionable, and eager to please the adults who handled and directed me. I mean, I'd do anything to get their approval and their praise. It's true, occasionally, I had to resort to drugs and alcohol to get through the rough stuff, but I never shied away from it. Admittedly, I did some really vulgar stuff. But I never did anything I was ashamed of — until now.

I can't believe they used me as an extra in a pro-Clinton campaign ad. …

*Disclaimer: All italicized comments are an artist's interpretation of Ms. Knowles actual statements. Ms. Knowles's comments had to be edited to meet The Truth*'s strict space restrictions. After watching the video, the editors are sure you will agree that through art, we were able to present the truth of her words better than direct quotations ever could.

And don't forget the “space limitations” thing. Especially if you're thinking about suing me.

(Also, seen here.)