I Love that She Was Willing to Do the Re-enactments

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Nailed 'Em - War on Birth Control
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America's fighting a war on drugs. Drugs destroy lives, so we're destroying those lives first.…

And that is very bad news for this Virginia teen.

My name is Freja Jackson. I'm 17. I go to Oakton High School, and I'm going to be a senior. I got straight As. I'm a varsity-lettered athlete, swimming and diving.

Oh, there's one more thing: This teen's a junkie.

I'm not a junkie.

Well, if you're not a junkie, junkie, then how come you got busted this spring for dropping norgestimate-ethinyl estradiol? Of course, it's got a different name on the streets.

It would just be called “The Pill.”

The Pill, Fallopian Dope, Baby Proofies. Freja admits she's an addict.

I never miss a dose—ever.…

Freja was nailed for possession of a controlled substance, recommended for expulsion, and suspended for 10 days.…

There are not drugs of any kind allowed in the schools—period—no matter what they are.

Chris Brownick was a member of the Fairfax County School Board for 8 years.

As far as the state is concerned and the federal law, birth control pills are just as dangerous as heroin.

That's right: Zero Tolerance says there is no difference between this, (birth control pill), and this, (powder made to look like heroin), which for legal reasons, we will call baking soda.


Zero Tolerance policy are brain-dead adults who don't want to accept the responsibility of making decisions. Seriously, if you, as a governing board, can't see the difference between prescribed drugs for birth control and, say, asthma and recreational drugs like heroin, you shouldn't be in position to create policies and laws for others. And if you're in a position to enforce policies like this and you feel comfortable giving your judgement away to thoughtless “My hands are tied” dumb-assery like this, you should get a lobotomy or have the AP Biology class pith you for all the good you're doing the community. If you're that willing to give away your capacity for reason, you're probably not using it, anyway.