Three Dudes Shaking Their Weights. That's Got to Be More Awkward than Satisfying

If there were any benefits to this workout, I would have been the most ripped thirteen-year-old in the history of masturbation humankind, because I was doing that exercise a lot back then—a lot—much more than the stated “six minutes a day.”

Had I been able to limit myself to six minutes a day, who knows what would have been possible for me? Any suggestion would be speculative, but I would have certainly had the time to unlock the mysteries of cold fusion, isolate the weakness of the common cold, count the licks to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. It's hard to imagine what accomplishments would have been out of my reach had I reached for my Shake Weight only six minutes per day.

Science is the poorer.