“Penis Kisses” Is the New “Peace Out”

Sin-thia: Oh, hi.

Been a while since anybody's given a high five to your vagina? Do you want to feel, deep, sensual intimacy with someone other than your cat? (No offense, Sprinkles.)

Is your cervix covered in moss, guarded by a tiny, mean-spirited leprechaun?

Hi, I'm Sin-thia, and I'm a professional dating professional. And I'm here to help you.

I guarantee that if you follow my dating tips that within the first week, you'll have a steamy night of S-E-X-Y. Come on. Trust me.

After that, how could I not? I don't have a vagina, but if you're willing to work with me, I'm willing to learn.

Penis kisses!