Shit Just Got Real

Santa Claus is coming to town.

He knows if you are Jewish.
He knows if you are poor.
Don't matter if you're bad or good.
He will skip your house for sure.

Oh, you better not shout, you better not cry,
You better not pout, 'cause that's all annoying.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

The elves are at work.
They're making your toys,
And by elves we mean Chinese girls and boys.

Santa Claus is outsourcing your future.

So leave some milk and cookies for jolly Ole St. Nick.
He'll eat them while he's shirtless taking picture of your dick.

So, …

Finally, proof that Santa Claus really was my father.

Hope you enjoyed the miracle of the holiday, everyone.