I'm Biff Loman, and I Approve of This Message

How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him

Jim Haggerty: Ladies, have you ever had this problem: You're into a fellow, but you feel like you're just not catching his eye?

Tracy Gill: Don't worry. Relationship Guru Rebeccah Rachel is here to tell us how to get the attention of a man while you're having sex with him.

Together: Good morning, Rebeccah!

Rebeccah Rachel: Hi, guys! Well, we've all been there, right? You have a crush on a guy, he's thrusting his erection into you, but you're laying there wondering, Does he even know I exist?

Tracy: Definitely! What do we do?

Rebeccah: Well, you have to make him notice you. Don't just bounce around on his penis hoping he's going to compliment you on your new earrings.

Jim: [Playfully] That's not going to happen.

Rebeccah: So you want to try something subtle to get his attention, like accidentally brushing your hand against his while he's pounding you or make up some excuse to ask him a question, something to just get him to break his normal routine so you can share a moment.

Tracy: Gives you a moment to flirt.

Rebeccah: Bingo! You have to stand out from the crowd.

When he stops to adjust his condom, flash him a little I-think-you're-cute smile before he slides himself back into you, something to just plant the thought of you in the back of his mind....

Tracy: Love it!

All right, there are a few questions from our viewers. The first ones from Hillary in Brooklyn, NY:

Hilary Leichter: Hi, guys.

I can't seem to get the guy I'm sleeping with to pay any attention to me. He never even makes eye contact.

Jim: Oh, good question.

Rebeccah: Try throwing a ball or small object at him. It's a great excuse to start a conversation, like, “Hey, where did that ball come from?”

Jim: Ooh, sassy!

Rebeccah: The most important tip is to just be yourself. Men love blowing their load into a confident woman.

Wow. It's like I think it, and she says it.

Wait. That's a psychosis, isn't it?