Conversation with My 12-Year-Old Self (Sort of)

‎12-year-old Self to Me: “We shave our beard?! Why do we shave our beard?”


Me: “We don't. It's eaten away by airborne, beard-eating parasites released into the atmosphere by accident during biology class.”


12YO Me: “Really?!”


Me: “Yeah, really. It happens next year, when we're 13.”


12YO Me: “No way!”


Me: “Yes way. Look, I've got to go. My jetpack taxi's here."