Friday, July 06, 2012

Friday Flashback

I found this clip of one of my favorite comedians doing a set back in the 90s. Unfortunately, I couldn't embed the video into this post, so you'll have to click the link to view it. Please do.

A sexual revolution going on: Some of the stuff, I can do; some of it, I can't.

I ain't going to throw my back out of whack trying to do something some freaky seventeen-year-old invented. I stay within my own freaky limitations.

So, don't bring no handcuffs to bed with me. I've been locked up before; it ain't no sexy feeling. Sex is the last thing on your mind when they walking you into the big house. You don't want to look sexy at all.

Don't bring no whips and chains to bed with me. I wasn't a slave, but I heard about it. I watched Roots about seven or eight times: I'm liable to have a flashback and choke the hell out of somebody. If you want a spanking, I'll give you a spanking, but if you hit me back, it's on. I'm not into that shit.

It gets better, so come for the sex talk; stay for the O.J.-trial recap:

When I look at the O.J. case, I've got to admit the whole case has got me emotionally disturbed. I really don't know what to think.

When I first started watching the trial about a year ago, first thing I saw was the opening statement of the prosecution. When Marcia Clark finished listing all the evidence they had against O.J., I said, “O.J. did it. They may as well lock him up right now. I don't even know why they going on with a trial, all that evidence.” But I kept on watching till smooth Johnny Cochrane got up and started breaking it down.

Johnny Cochrane's got a point: They got too much evidence against O.J.

Nobody could've been that damn stupid, and even if they were, no one man could've made all them mistakes.

How can one man drop one bloody glove at the crime scene, take the matching bloody glove to his own house, drip blood all up and down Rockingham Blvd. — blood in the bushes, blood in the grass, left his hat on top of one of the bodies, blood on the fence, blood on the outside of the Bronco, blood inside the Bronco … O.J. couldn't have done all that! The Ojays couldn't have done all that stuff!

Ah, the nineties, it was a simpler, more innocent time. All we wanted was “liberty and juices for all,” and John Lewis was going to get it for us. Can't believe that didn't work out.


Blogger Bryan Gates said...

"Free Willy?" Shit, free my Uncle Willy! His ass has been locked up for five years.

8:50 AM  

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