Billionaire Assholes Have All the Fun. Duh

Billionaires are giving Romney a record breaking amount of money for his campaign this year. 78-year-old casino magnate Sheldon Adelson of Las Vegas, has pledged to give Romney $100 million to defeat Barack Obama. Sarah Silverman has a proposition for you, Sheldon.


Sarah Silverman: Sheldon, I have a proposal for you, and I'm serious. Look at me. If you give that $100 million to Obama instead of Romney, I will… Well, I won't have sex with you because we're not married and I'm a good girl, but I will scissor* you wearing a bikini bottom through to fruition. (That means until you come!)

I can't remember the last time a good girl offered to scissor me through to fruition, but it was probably the last time I donated millions of dollars to my Republican friend's campaign.

* You can stop thumbing through your copy of 50 Shades of Meh for a definition. It ain't in there. Lucky for you, she demonstrates what it is in the video. On a dog.

You're welcome.