"I'm Sorry, but You Will Never Be Able to Satisfy a Woman Sexually, but Here's To You, Mr. Tiny Wang Man, and Your Tiny Wang"

Chicago ad agency Meacham, Ellis & Young is the talk of the industry this week in the wake of the public's overwhelmingly negative reaction to its much-trumpeted, multimillion-dollar 'Small 'n' Flaccid' advertising campaign for Merit cigarettes. . . .

Despite high expectations, the campaign and its slogan, "Merit—Makin' You Feel All Small 'n' Flaccid" has met with universal and complete failure. . . .

Upon realizing its error, Meacham, Ellis & Young implemented several last-minute changes to the failing campaign in an effort to prop up sales. However, despite adding slogans such as "Merit -- Love That Limply Dangling Taste"; "Merit -- When You're Too Big A Pussy To Smoke Anything Else"; and "Your Tiny, Ineffectual Penis Has Merit," the ads continued to flop.

"Your tiny, ineffectual penis has merit" sounds like a daily affirmation for the genitally-challenged.