"And the Award for Most Original Costume Goes To . . . "

If your penis turns green, your first response isn't "Hey, great! Now, I have a costume for Halloween!" It's "Hmm, I should probably have that looked at."

Yes, "Hey, great! Now, I have a costume for Halloween!" can be your second response. No, you don't have to have it looked at today. (What are you, a girl?) Yes, it has to be looked at by a doctor: Your drinking buddies don't count.

Thanks.

This has been another public service announcement by Biff Loman, the Society of Biffs, and The Truth* Network. Have a nice day.