Chop Away the Gay

"Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. We can only record its moods, and chronicle their return. With us time itself does not progress. It revolves. It seems to circle round one centre of pain."
--Oscar Wilde (reformed homosexual)

C.H.O.P.S is the powerful new program developed by Christian Youth expert Donnie Davies. C.H.O.P.S stands for CHANGING HOMOSEXUALS into ORDINARY PEOPLE.

If you have been having feelings that you DO NOT want to have towards people of the same sex as you, then this is the program for you.

If you've been acting on those same feelings, then this is DEFINATELY the program you've been looking for.

Donnie Davies

Hello Friends, I hope you take the time to read the quote by our good friend and compatriot, Oscar Wilde. In that one quote Oscar brings to life the isolation and despair of what he refers to as 'us', the homosexuals. It is a long, lonely, desolate road, homosexuality. I've been there, friends. I know how horrible and rough that road can be. I have been called a 'Faggot'. You are not alone and guess what, God Loves You even if he hates your Homosexuality. You just can't stay that way. Let me help you love yourself. Follow me and together we'll C.H.O.P.S away the Gay.

Our Activities

How exactly do we C.H.O.P.S away the Gay? Well, we do it in the only way I know how. It's the same method my mother used when she saw a cigarette dangling from my lips and wanted me to quit. She got me to Choke the Smoke, by smoking pack after pack of Kools until I puked. (To this day, I can't go near a cigarette.) Copying that tried and true method, here, we chop away the gay by forcing you to have anal and oral sex with me, over and over and over again , bumping and grinding, pitching and catching, until finally you scream, "Enough with the Gay! There's got to be a better way!" (And you will.) Trust me. It works -- if not the first time, then definitely, by the second or third. I have never failed to turn a gay man straight.

Praise the Lord.

And check out the list of gay bands.

Seriously, Ravi Shankar, DMX, Eminem, Jay-Z, Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Village People: I had no idea.