But Me? I Don't Hold Grudges

One day I was at home listening to the Three 6 Mafia interview on Imus, and I got a call from my good friend Bono. He told me, "The good people at Vanity Fair said I could be guest editor this month and devote the whole magazine to Africa." I said I'd write a piece about the non-participation of African-Americans in Pan-African affairs. I sat down at my computer and realized that piece would only be three words long. Those words are: Niggers is broke.

There's also the matter of some of you selling us to the slave traders. Oh, don't be coy: it's insulting to all of us.

I know. Given how events have transpired, you'd think the grudge-holders among us would just let that go. And you'd be wrong — so very, very, amazingly wrong, so wrong that the English language doesn't have a way to describe how wrong you've manage to get this. I'd like to tell you in some other way, but since we've long forgotten our native tongues, you're going to have to take my word for it. It's still too soon.

But good luck with all that.