If They're Out of Newports, Send KOOLs

“Sometimes, you know, sometimes, racism works out in black people's favor. It doesn't happen often. It happens rarely, but when it happens, it is fucking sweet. …

“Terrorists don't take black hostages. That's the truth.

“I have yet to see one of us on the news reading a hostage letter and shit:

‘Um, They is treatin' us good. Uh, we all chillin' and shit. I'd like to give a shout out to Ray-Ray and Big Steve.

‘Send some Newports.’

“You're not going to see it.

“Terrorists are smart. They know what they're doing, you know. They terrorists. They know us black people are bad bargaining chips.”

Unfortunately, we only get to play that Race card every twenty years or so.

And although I would trade it for equal opportunity and equal protection under the law, until that happens, I'll keep the Get Out of Terrorists' Custody card for that 1 in 20 years benefit. In other words, if I'm taken hostage, don't send Condi. Send Jesse.