Do you stay up nights wondering if your deaky has become too freaky? Are you worried that somewhere along the line you strayed into scary-uncle perv country—where they carve pumpkins to look like Jon Benet Ramsey and fuck them? After counting the levels, are you convinced your total Wrong should cause heads to shake in dismay? Think you've crossed the “The Tribe has spoken: We're going to have to put you down” line? Well, unless you wrote the following letter, the line is still far off on the horizon for you. Your deaky? Not so freaky:

(from Dan Savages Love Letter of the Day)

Since I was 15 or so I’ve filled the tub up with nice warm water and took a dump in the bath water. I found (and still do) that the nice warm water loosens up my muscles and allows me to really clean myself out. It’s not uncommon for me to do this for over an hour. I don’t beat off while I’m in there, or do anything sexual with it. Generally, once I’m done I clean out the tub and wash my hands/body.

Is this a normal thing associated with scat or what? I have a boyfriend of 4 years, who has a pretty good idea that I do this, although we’ve never really talked about it. However, I don’t think he realizes the extent that I do this. I don’t want him involved in the act, and I would never want to see or touch his. In fact, in the cases where I do see it/smell it (being a gay male it’s bound to turn up occasionally) I’m turned off and disgusted by the smell. We’ve bought a house together, and will be moving in together in the next two months. Once we’re together I’m afraid he’ll figure it out. So I really think I need to tell him before he moves in.

The only problem is I have no idea why I do this, or why I can’t stop doing it. I feel like I need to give him some reason why, sexual or not, that I do this. Have you ever heard of anything like this? Is this scat, or is it just a gross habit that is not sexual in any way?

I’m curious to hear your insight.

Dude, you are a total freak.

You don't have a sister, do you?