Ultimate Soft Bum: I'll be the Judge of That

Loo roll makers, Andrex, are launching shea butter infused knickers for the ultimate soft butt. They'll be working with Liz McClarnon to launch the collection of silk undies that have a fabric panel on the back that's impregnated with derriere softening shea. The good news is that the knickers cost £10 from 6th June at www.andrexsheabutter.com - a tenner is more than reasonable for designer silkies and even better, £5 from each purchase goes to the cancer support charity, Look Good…Feel Better.


You wouldn't think that a marketing campaign that ties skid marked-tinted panties and toilet paper together would be successful, which is why no one asks you anything anymore. As is so often the case these days, you couldn't be more wrong. What do I mean? Well, let's just say that, if my confirmation e-mail is to be believed, in 3-5 business, I'll have enough knickers to last me a fortnight.

I mean, it's impregnated with derriere-softening shea. SHEA, people! Nothing has held this much promise since Jockey and Johnson&Johnson teamed up to produce those briefs that gave your ass hair a perm. My love cushion was suppose to look like two, conked-out Cab Calloways. Sadly, no “heidy, heidy, heidy, ho!” was ever had in my back forty. That was then. This time… I mean, when has Shea butter ever let anyone down?