True Story

It was sweet, sweet victory for Anne Gemkow of Chicago as she pocketed the keys to her new Jeep Liberty, recently. She was the lucky licker in the Sweetest Day the Jeep Way contest in which contestants had to lick clean the grilles of seven chocolate-covered Jeep products.

When you read something like this, you wonder if mothers are passing down the life lessons they learned to their daughters. The thought that they aren't breaks my heart.

To spare the rest of you the heart-break I'm feeling, listen up, Anne and all the Annes of the world. I'm going to tell you something your mothers didn't, obviously, but should have.

Girls that lick get Jeeps; girls that suck get Mercedes.