*That's Me on the Left

A youth soccer coach went to the middle of a sports field in Windsor after a contentious match and pulled down his pants, exposing his buttocks to his opponents—a team of 14 and 15-year-old girls—authorities said today.

Several of the girls and their parents were offended by the action on Saturday and immediately called police, who plan to ask Sonoma County prosecutors to file misdemeanor indecent exposure charges against the coach from Petaluma, Windsor police Sgt. Steve Brown said. …

The contest had featured physical play and “heated arguments,” Brown said in a written statement.

After the alleged gesture, police officers spoke to the coach, who denied exposing himself, just as he denied grabbing himself at an earlier point in the match and yelling to the referee, “I gotcha' Red Card swingin' right here!”

While I find this funnier and more praiseworthy than I should repulsive, I do believe “Mooning” is protected speech, at least in civilized states, like Maryland and North Carolina, and it should be seen in that light—as an obscene speech act that I've been known to use from time to time —not as a sexual display too disturbing for the fragile and effete to view.

After all, it's just an ass, people, one of the more entertaining parts of the body, and Mooning just gives it its full expression. Whether it's just for fun or a mean-spirited Fuck You, it's all good. Lighten up.

Don't make me drop trou on you.