Ahh, Kittie. (I Did Say “Kittie,” Right?)

THE boobs of happy mums can put other women in the mood for sex and spark wild fantasies, according to a new study.

The bizarre findings showed women who were exposed to other breasts experienced rocketing sexual desire and a massive increase in sex fantasies.

The research, carried out to help develop therapies for women with low libido, involved asking new mums to insert special pads into their bras.

The same pads were then sniffed by half of the study group and the findings showed that women with regular partners, who were exposed to the smells experienced a 24 per cent increase in sexual desire and 17 per cent increase in fantasies.

I'm a layman, ignorant in the ways of marketing, but that said, I think when these things go into production they should name them something like “Nasty Pads” or something similarly raunchy. Then, people will have a better idea of what they do.

I mean, seriously, Cialis? Viagra? They sound like diseases that cause impotency, not drugs that cure it.

Of course, if you're in this position, you could simply by-pass the middleman (that bastard), and just invite a new mom to bed with you and your less horny friend. I mean, who doesn't win under that scenario?

Speaking of winning, if any of you researchers are wondering what effect middle-aged man dew has on breasts or horny women or dysfunctional twentysomethings with daddy issues, I am appropriately male musk-y and available for testing. Holler.