Ganesh is the Kind of God Who Will Fist a Deity and Have the Decency to Give Him a Reach-Around

WASHINGTON—Following the publication of the image above, in which the most cherished figures from multiple religious faiths were depicted engaging in a lascivious sex act of considerable depravity, no one was murdered, beaten, or had their lives threatened, sources reported Thursday. The image of the Hebrew prophet Moses high-fiving Jesus Christ as both are having their erect penises vigorously masturbated by Ganesha, all while the Hindu deity anally penetrates Buddha with his fist, reportedly went online at 6:45 p.m. EDT, after which not a single bomb threat was made against the organization responsible, nor did the person who created the cartoon go home fearing for his life in any way. Though some members of the Jewish, Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist faiths were reportedly offended by the image, sources confirmed that upon seeing it, they simply shook their heads, rolled their eyes, and continued on with their day.

I knew Buddha was a freak. There was something about his smile that told me he was a fellow traveler.

And Why Not? No One Reads the Corrections Anyway

C.W. Nevius' column about Most Holy Redeemer banning drag queen performers incorrectly stated that entertainer Peaches Christ appeared at an event at the church's hall with a dildo shaped like a crucifix. He did not appear at the event, nor does he use the prop.

Obviously, this retraction was written by an intern. A full-fledged professional would have left some ambiguity in the material, publishing a more nuanced correction of what was printed:

“C.W. Nevius' column about Most Holy Redeemer banning drag queen performers incorrectly stated that entertainer Peaches Christ appeared at an event at the church's hall with a dildo shaped like a crucifix. He did not appear at the event, but if he did—which we've established he did not—he did not he use a dildo shaped like crucifix as a prop. He used it like a dildo—or he would have had he been there, which he almost certainly was not.”

See the difference.