Work Faster Peasants. I Need My New iPhone

Tech Talk Host Caitlin Owens: In fairness, would you guys like to complain about an American product?

Chinese Peasant Laborer Shu Chow: Let's see, what does America make? Does diabetes count as product, because if not, we'll have to get back to you.

Shh, Mountain Goats. You had me at “Mistreat your altar boys long enough and this is what you get.” You had me at... Actually, you had me from the opening line, and made me write, “So true” in the margins of my monitor with Wite-Out after the Precipice verse (yeah, that's not coming out), because the truth is, if you want to rob me of my CD money, appeal to the 16-year-old cutter in me. (Seriously, ask Robert Smith: my tears and blood probably paid for at least one of his manors and keeps him in eyeliner and lipstick to this day.)