As Usual, Someone Put Their Trust in the People, and the People Let Her Down

A Florida plumber was found guilty Friday of kidnapping and murdering a police detective's daughter at a trial in which his victim's voice filled the courtroom as her desperate 911 call was played to the jury.

Jurors deliberated just two hours before finding Michael L. King, 38, guilty of first-degree murder, kidnapping and sexual battery in the January 17, 2008 abduction and slaying of Denise Amber Lee, a 21-year-old mother of two.…

The jury must next decide whether King, who was a stranger to Lee, should be executed for his crimes.

According to testimony during the weeklong trial, Lee was taken from her home sometime after 2 p.m., driven to King's home, sexually assaulted, then shot in the head and buried in a shallow grave in a marshy vacant lot.…

According to testimony and court records, Lee fought frantically for her life, banging on the windows of King's green Camaro, screaming for help and begging one witness, “Call the cops.”

King's cousin, Harold Muxlow, testified that King stopped by his house between 5:30 and 6 p.m., and asked to borrow a flashlight, a gas can, and a shovel.

He testified that a “girl's voice” from the car asked him to “call the cops” but Muxlow said King told him, “Don't worry. It's nothing.”

Explaining further, Muxlow said, “Since he didn't ask to borrow my pistol this time, I thought, ‘You know, he's probably right. Don't go into a tizzy, like you usually do when you hear a woman scream “Call the Cops!” from the backseat of a Camaro.’ In hindsight, I can see where that may not have been a good conclusion to draw.”

* By the way, the picture is for this product, which you've got to see or you'll think I'm making it up.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find Out What It Means to Me…

Great Googlely Mooglely! Aretha Franklin is doing Rio, as only the Queen of Soul can—in full bloom.

Tell me you don't wish you were there.

via Jezebel

That Would Explain Where She Got the Money to Re-Model her Kitchen. (You Go, Mom)

Burger King must pay my mother not to talk to its food.

Now You See Him, Now …

The edit of the Microsoft ad for its Polish division was crude. The U.S. ad depicted three people at a conference table: an Asian man, a black man, and a white woman. When localizing the marketing image for Poland, Microsoft replaced the black man's with that of a white man.

The photos are basically identical (as pictured above). However, in the picture, only the black man's head was replaced — the hands noticeably a different color.

Originally many thought this was originally a joke, but Microsoft's public apology set the record straight. Microsoft told Cnet “You know, we don't see race at Microsoft. It's really a shame that in this day and age, so many people still do. For our Polish web page, we just thought we'd go another way, a more European way.

“It's really a question of marketing. I'm sure if we ever decided to sell software in Africa, we'd bring the black guy back for those pages, and, probably, photoshop out the woman for one more in line with African beauty ideals, like, say, a blonde.”


It's really getting hard for a brother to hold a job in this economy.

If Your Relationship Is Missing that Certain Something, Craig Robinson is Here to Help

Let's Get Sexy with Craig Robinson from Craig Robinson

Hi, I'm Craig Robinson. Let's get sexy.

Sometimes, a relationship loses its spark. To reignite it, sneak into your lady's apartment and hide in her closet with a chocolate gun. When she gets home, jump out and surprise her with it.

Ladies love chocolate.…

Make farts your friends. Put a Certs up your butt hole. Turn every fart into a wintergreen blast of freshening goodness. Smells like camping.

Flavored condoms sound like a good idea, but in the end, you're still wearing a condom.

One of the most romantic things you can do is remember the name of the person you're sleeping with, and one of the most important thing you can do is remember if she is the one who has the rape fantasy.


It's hard to argue with him. Ladies do love the chocolate.

“Scalia,”Italian for “Fifteen Pounds of Shit in Ten-Pound Robe”

This Court has never held that the Constitution forbids the execution of a convicted defendant who has had a full and fair trial but is later able to convince a habeas court that he is “actually” innocent. Quite to the contrary, we have repeatedly left that question unresolved, while expressing considerable doubt that any claim based on alleged “actual innocence” is constitutionally cognizable.

If you're not already one of us bleeding hearts who's soft on crime, let me point out that Scalia is arguing that a murder conviction should stand even though seven of the nine witnesses against the convicted murderer have recanted their testimonies, even though it will mean the convicted murderer will be executed at the state of Georgia's convenience. Yeah, how shitty is that? You may now come on over to the soft on crime side with a clear conscience—unless, you know, you don't have one.

Which would make you a “Scalia.”

It might make you a Loman because on one level I agree with Justice Sack-o-shit, at least in one regard.

Before moving on, let's get something clear. I did not attend law school. In fact, everything I know about the law and its practice, I learned from watching Perry Mason and drinking my way through the DVDs of the first 10 seasons of Law & Order. I am a layman, ignorant of the ways of the law, and because I'm a layman, I will not let my ignorance get in the way of my voicing an opinion on a topic of which I know nothing.

God bless the USA.

Having duly issued my disclaimer, I'll proceed if I can remember what I was talking about. Oh, yeah, I agree with Scalia on this point.

If this Court thinks it possible that capital convictions obtained in full compliance with law can never be final, but are always subject to being set aside by federal courts for the reason of “actual innocence,” it should set this case on our own docket so that we can (if necessary) resolve that question.

In his dissent, he argues that the District Court is not in a position to grant the petitioner any relief even if they find his new evidence compelling. Justice Stevens disagrees, and points out several possibilities under which the District Court could act.

I think that's a sound political move, letting the state court take an action that will kick the case to the federal courts and eventually lead it back to the Supreme Court to decide the core issue of whether or not “actual innocence” is cause for action and relief under the Constitution. That's smart.

By delaying this fight until a time in the future when the makeup of the Court is more amenable to civil rights arguments, he's biding time until he can win this fight.

That certainly isn't now. If this case were held this year, it would be a “sure loser,” Scalia, Thomas, Alito, Roberts, and Kennedy almost certainly voting against it.

So, okay, Stevens, I agree with your politics, but, Scalia, I agree with your conclusion: the Supreme Court needs to stop passing the buck and decide the issue.

Of course, when I sober up, I may have a change of mind.

Thanks, Glenn Beck

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Glenn-Harried Glenn-Lost
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Meryl Streep

Steven Colbert: Nation, I am sick about something that I saw on Glenn Beck's show—or, rather, something I didn't see, commercials.

Progressive insurance, Proctor & Gamble, Sargento cheese, Lawyers.com, Men's Warehouse, and Geico have all pulled their advertising from Glenn's show.… Apparently, they're upset by something Glenn said about the president.

Glenn Beck: This president, I think, has exposed himself as a guy over and over and over again who has a deep-seated hatred for white people…
(After another talking head points out that the president's top advisers are white,) I'm not saying that he doesn't like white people…

Steven Colbert: Deep-seated hatred and dislike are two different things. They are as different as putting your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass.


I don't have a deep-seated hatred or dislike of white people, but I'm starting to believe that I should.

Really, People, You've Got to Learn Your History if We're Going to Move Forward as a Society

Before there was a one post-racial America, there were actually two Americas—one black, the other white—and we were the lesser for it. Thank Obama, those days are behind us.

As You Know, I'm Easy to Seduce

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I've got a new man-crush, and it's on Lawrence O'Donnell. Last night, filling in for Chris Matthews, he asked direct, thoughtful questions to this healthcare protestor, building off her previous statements and following up on the points she raised. He was also honest about where he was coming from, and appeared genuinely interested in her responses. Although he clearly didn't think her positions were newsworthy, he treated her with respect and was civil the entire time. He did this while exposing Katy Abram, the interviewee and town-hall protester, for the fraud she is. Articles have already detailed how Republicans have given scripts and action guides for undermining town hall meetings to supporters. By being skilled in his questioning, O'Donnell was able to show that her camera-grabbing 15-minutes were about as genuine as Joe the Plumber's. And for that he is my new man-crush.

Heavy Sigh. “For Fuck's Sake”

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Healther Skelter - Obama Death Panel Debate
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Jon Stewart: Now, obviously, the idea that Barack Obama wants to kill you grandparents and children is somewhat hyperbolic.…

Which again means that Barack Obama had to devote his web address to de-bunking fear. Watch closely as it appears that all Obama's speeches now begin with a heavy sigh:

President Obama: Let me start by dispelling the outlandish rumors that reform will promote euthanasia or cut Medicaid or bring about a government takeover of healthcare. That's simply not true…

Jon: (imitating the president) “…for fuck's sake.… [sighs heavily] (continuing) If you like the organs you have, you'll get to keep them. I will not be, as you may have heard, harvesting them for my [makes air quotes] ‘Chicago friends.’”

Jon: I am now joined by our healthcare panel, representing all sides of the healthcare debate. We have John Oliver, Samantha Bee, and Aasif Mandvi. Thank you all for joining us.

Tempers running hot on this issue is an important issue. Let's make an effort to keep the conversation civil if we may.

Obviously, one of the more outlandish things to come out of this debate if you can call it that is the notion that this bill includes provisions for government-run death panels, who will decide who lives and who dies…

Samantha Bee: Absolutely, the U.S. government should not be running death panels. It's far too big and out of control to effectively run something that important. That responsibility should remain where it is now, with private insurance companies.

John Oliver: No, no, no. Jon, if I may, that is absolutely barbaric… Jon, America is the wealthiest country in the world, yet 50 million of our citizens have no access to death panels. That is a disgrace. Yet, under Sam's plan, here, there is still no public death panel option. Are you suggesting that hard-working Americans who have lost their jobs or fallen ill shouldn't have the same right to be put down in Obama's government death factories as a CEO.…

Aasif Mandvi: Has anyone actually read the bill? [John and Samantha admit they have not.] Well, I haven't, either, but one thing I do know is ObamaCare isn't about killing anyone…

Well, given his Kenyan birth and background, I'm pretty sure his plan focuses on tribal medicines and holistic shaman cures based on leaves and roots and other kinds of Serengeti magic.

Samnatha Bee: Listen, listen, listen. I have no objection to voodoo ceremonies where a man with a bone through his nose sprinkles you with chicken blood, per se, but universal, single-killer, shamanistic death panels just represent more Washington mission creep.


And it just goes downhill from there. Sadly, it's still not as ridiculous as the real discussions going on across the country.

I Love that She Was Willing to Do the Re-enactments

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Nailed 'Em - War on Birth Control
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Tasers

America's fighting a war on drugs. Drugs destroy lives, so we're destroying those lives first.…

And that is very bad news for this Virginia teen.

My name is Freja Jackson. I'm 17. I go to Oakton High School, and I'm going to be a senior. I got straight As. I'm a varsity-lettered athlete, swimming and diving.

Oh, there's one more thing: This teen's a junkie.

I'm not a junkie.

Well, if you're not a junkie, junkie, then how come you got busted this spring for dropping norgestimate-ethinyl estradiol? Of course, it's got a different name on the streets.

It would just be called “The Pill.”

The Pill, Fallopian Dope, Baby Proofies. Freja admits she's an addict.

I never miss a dose—ever.…

Freja was nailed for possession of a controlled substance, recommended for expulsion, and suspended for 10 days.…

There are not drugs of any kind allowed in the schools—period—no matter what they are.

Chris Brownick was a member of the Fairfax County School Board for 8 years.

As far as the state is concerned and the federal law, birth control pills are just as dangerous as heroin.

That's right: Zero Tolerance says there is no difference between this, (birth control pill), and this, (powder made to look like heroin), which for legal reasons, we will call baking soda.


Zero Tolerance policy are brain-dead adults who don't want to accept the responsibility of making decisions. Seriously, if you, as a governing board, can't see the difference between prescribed drugs for birth control and, say, asthma and recreational drugs like heroin, you shouldn't be in position to create policies and laws for others. And if you're in a position to enforce policies like this and you feel comfortable giving your judgement away to thoughtless “My hands are tied” dumb-assery like this, you should get a lobotomy or have the AP Biology class pith you for all the good you're doing the community. If you're that willing to give away your capacity for reason, you're probably not using it, anyway.